I admit it... A tad disappointed with this chapter.
Which is entirely due to reader preconceptions, not anything in the writing. You read my comments last week, so you know I was expecting a huge and mighty clash of robot bodies - and there IS a huge clash of robot bodies, with one being ripped in half (and an "Alien" universe nod), and Justin dog piling on PB's current body with all the serving robots. So what's going on with my expectations vs reality?
Let's back up. The early parts of the chapter with Justin jumping into servant bots and telling everyone to run for it works. The tension is there. While you chose not to add the layers of virtual combat, it is implied (and I'm sure Justin('s shard - to be precise) worked triple-overtime to keep Probably Better from taking 20 waiter-bots and overwhelming our heroes with numbers) in the narrative.
So... I think it comes down to me overestimating how much force PB could/would bring to bear. My comments last week discussed the fragility of a space station, and hinted I was expecting robot bodies bursting through walls, and collateral deaths. Some random party goers being blasted into space, fire, explosions, structural failures. General destruction and mayhem.
So - and I again stress this is due to reader anticipation, not the story structure - when the SDC gang and Yana were back in the ship and strapping in for launch it felt too easy.
Now, I back up again and re-examine. Top of the chapter discusses how the main parts of Just Enough are far enough away for significant light speed delay. The shard of Justin operating with the SDC+Y is a subset of their full ability.
Not made explicit in the chapter, but there on reflection is Probably Better is in the same situation. There must be a processing delay between Probably Better's megaship on the moon, and the shard on the New Rhodes Station. PB is also hampered, and, for a quantum computing AI, even a couple of seconds of lag (a reasonable minimum assumption) can throw off PB's plans.
So the pieces are absolutely in place for the relatively smooth retreat to Beagle. It's fairly set up, and reasonably plotted, and there was some hard-core robot-on-robot violence.
It's just reader anticipation getting it wrong.
(Which is good. Surprising the reader is better than predictability.)
Backing up again, I did quite like diving into Nisha for a minute. It's good to see over the last five years she's gotten her substance issues controlled. Also, that bittersweet reminder of Zoltan's Dad.
Anyways - of course the escape isn't over yet. The stakes are high, and Just Enough is burning hell-for-leather. "Survival cocktail" is a good hint Justin has run Beagle's engines up to 100% percent. Maybe a 4g/5g burn, even! Probably Better is going to have more powerful engines since it's not built around the purpose of carrying people. We'll see how next week plays out. It'll be a tricky chapter for you to write, because, with the SDC+Y basically strapped into acceleration couches the next stage is two quantum AI's calculating orbital and thrust mechanics at each other - which will make it tricky to toss the action flow back to the people. I'm certain you'll make it work.
Your comment last week was a really good example of figuring out when to take on board reader feedback. I was VERY tempted to adopt your approach and make the escape from the museum more dramatic and violent, and to have the station itself caught in the crossfire to a greater degree.
Ultimately, though, I have to balance the bigger picture that's in my head. And the key bit in your comment above is "Anyways - of course the escape isn't over yet."
Getting off the New Rhodes station does not = they've escaped.
They're now being pursued by a superintelligence megaship, one designed without the usual failsafes and regulations, one which was built with the explicit purpose of destablising the triverse. Add to that the relative positions: the New Rhodes is in orbit around the Moon, and PB has been lurking beneath the lunar surface. They're fairly close. Justin, on the other hand, is many hours further away.
As you've pointed out, PB doesn't have to worry about fleshy things, so can go as fast as its hull can withstand (which is a lot). Justin has to keep his passengers alive, and none of them are experienced or trained in spaceflight.
Another factor: they're being pursued by a megaship that can basically go wherever the hell it wants. Where are they going to escape TO?
Anyway, yes, totally get being disappointed that things didn't kick off more dramatically in today's chapter. All I'm saying is...stay tuned. :)
Speaking of escaping - while I doubt Beagle is about to be jumped by four TIE Fighters as they run to Yavin IV, there is that semi Star Wars parallel.
So, yeah, if you don't know, back in the 1980's NPR did extended radio versions of the original Star Wars trilogy. They're quite good. Here, Brian Daley has to pad out a two hour movie to a 6.5 hour radio drama. Daley was able to incorporate the material cut from the screenplay (more of Luke on Tattooine, including all the Biggs scenes), and expand the narrative (Daley's version of how Leia got the Death Star plans is better than Rogue One). Sometimes he fails (there's an entire half hour episode devoted to Ben teaching Luke the first use of a lightsaber, which drags a bit), but more often succeeds.
Additionally, while only Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels reprised their roles (for Star Wars and Empire), the rest of the cast does quite well - Han, Obi-Wan, Leia, and Vader are definitely Han, Obi-Wan, Leia, and Vader (and the actors cast for the radio drama were all actors who had gone through callbacks on the movie, so it's a rare opportunity to hear how the roles would have been played by the "second choice" actors). The "jarring" thing is just having Imperials played by Americans, since we all know from movies it's always posh British bad guys.
Anyways - episode 11 (of 13) for Star Wars. Go start at 20:55 or so. Among other things Brian Daley will very cleverly justify all the sound effects, as the entire scene is from Luke's viewpoint. Put on some headphones and crank it up, because the entire sequence is very well mixed.
I admit it... A tad disappointed with this chapter.
Which is entirely due to reader preconceptions, not anything in the writing. You read my comments last week, so you know I was expecting a huge and mighty clash of robot bodies - and there IS a huge clash of robot bodies, with one being ripped in half (and an "Alien" universe nod), and Justin dog piling on PB's current body with all the serving robots. So what's going on with my expectations vs reality?
Let's back up. The early parts of the chapter with Justin jumping into servant bots and telling everyone to run for it works. The tension is there. While you chose not to add the layers of virtual combat, it is implied (and I'm sure Justin('s shard - to be precise) worked triple-overtime to keep Probably Better from taking 20 waiter-bots and overwhelming our heroes with numbers) in the narrative.
So... I think it comes down to me overestimating how much force PB could/would bring to bear. My comments last week discussed the fragility of a space station, and hinted I was expecting robot bodies bursting through walls, and collateral deaths. Some random party goers being blasted into space, fire, explosions, structural failures. General destruction and mayhem.
So - and I again stress this is due to reader anticipation, not the story structure - when the SDC gang and Yana were back in the ship and strapping in for launch it felt too easy.
Now, I back up again and re-examine. Top of the chapter discusses how the main parts of Just Enough are far enough away for significant light speed delay. The shard of Justin operating with the SDC+Y is a subset of their full ability.
Not made explicit in the chapter, but there on reflection is Probably Better is in the same situation. There must be a processing delay between Probably Better's megaship on the moon, and the shard on the New Rhodes Station. PB is also hampered, and, for a quantum computing AI, even a couple of seconds of lag (a reasonable minimum assumption) can throw off PB's plans.
So the pieces are absolutely in place for the relatively smooth retreat to Beagle. It's fairly set up, and reasonably plotted, and there was some hard-core robot-on-robot violence.
It's just reader anticipation getting it wrong.
(Which is good. Surprising the reader is better than predictability.)
Backing up again, I did quite like diving into Nisha for a minute. It's good to see over the last five years she's gotten her substance issues controlled. Also, that bittersweet reminder of Zoltan's Dad.
Anyways - of course the escape isn't over yet. The stakes are high, and Just Enough is burning hell-for-leather. "Survival cocktail" is a good hint Justin has run Beagle's engines up to 100% percent. Maybe a 4g/5g burn, even! Probably Better is going to have more powerful engines since it's not built around the purpose of carrying people. We'll see how next week plays out. It'll be a tricky chapter for you to write, because, with the SDC+Y basically strapped into acceleration couches the next stage is two quantum AI's calculating orbital and thrust mechanics at each other - which will make it tricky to toss the action flow back to the people. I'm certain you'll make it work.
Your comment last week was a really good example of figuring out when to take on board reader feedback. I was VERY tempted to adopt your approach and make the escape from the museum more dramatic and violent, and to have the station itself caught in the crossfire to a greater degree.
Ultimately, though, I have to balance the bigger picture that's in my head. And the key bit in your comment above is "Anyways - of course the escape isn't over yet."
Getting off the New Rhodes station does not = they've escaped.
They're now being pursued by a superintelligence megaship, one designed without the usual failsafes and regulations, one which was built with the explicit purpose of destablising the triverse. Add to that the relative positions: the New Rhodes is in orbit around the Moon, and PB has been lurking beneath the lunar surface. They're fairly close. Justin, on the other hand, is many hours further away.
As you've pointed out, PB doesn't have to worry about fleshy things, so can go as fast as its hull can withstand (which is a lot). Justin has to keep his passengers alive, and none of them are experienced or trained in spaceflight.
Another factor: they're being pursued by a megaship that can basically go wherever the hell it wants. Where are they going to escape TO?
Anyway, yes, totally get being disappointed that things didn't kick off more dramatically in today's chapter. All I'm saying is...stay tuned. :)
They ain't out of the woods yet, and the wargs are coming.
Now, does Just Enough have backup...? Could Kill, maybe? We shall see.
CK is probably distracted doing donuts in Jupiter's atmosphere. They're basically the stoner megaship.
Oh... Interesting.
There's always one stoner in the group.
Still a possibility for other AI's to show up. The narrative does discuss how the "network" is all dealing with Probably Better's disruptions.
I need to shoosh before I talk you out of something again. 😉
Yeah, there are others, who haven't really factored into the story. They're even more aloof and unconcerned about what humans are up to.
Speaking of escaping - while I doubt Beagle is about to be jumped by four TIE Fighters as they run to Yavin IV, there is that semi Star Wars parallel.
So, yeah, if you don't know, back in the 1980's NPR did extended radio versions of the original Star Wars trilogy. They're quite good. Here, Brian Daley has to pad out a two hour movie to a 6.5 hour radio drama. Daley was able to incorporate the material cut from the screenplay (more of Luke on Tattooine, including all the Biggs scenes), and expand the narrative (Daley's version of how Leia got the Death Star plans is better than Rogue One). Sometimes he fails (there's an entire half hour episode devoted to Ben teaching Luke the first use of a lightsaber, which drags a bit), but more often succeeds.
Additionally, while only Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels reprised their roles (for Star Wars and Empire), the rest of the cast does quite well - Han, Obi-Wan, Leia, and Vader are definitely Han, Obi-Wan, Leia, and Vader (and the actors cast for the radio drama were all actors who had gone through callbacks on the movie, so it's a rare opportunity to hear how the roles would have been played by the "second choice" actors). The "jarring" thing is just having Imperials played by Americans, since we all know from movies it's always posh British bad guys.
Anyways - episode 11 (of 13) for Star Wars. Go start at 20:55 or so. Among other things Brian Daley will very cleverly justify all the sound effects, as the entire scene is from Luke's viewpoint. Put on some headphones and crank it up, because the entire sequence is very well mixed.
(I own all three radio series.)
https://youtu.be/ZilQocVE51g?si=GIz6I0qbIqSmvYd_