I get that; I know that feeling well. I like Lola's introduction here, and the way you described Clarke particularly; it's quite vivid. The grayness really works, I think.
I'm curious as to what an aen'fa actually is; I have an idea of what a koth looks like, but so far I don't know that I've seen overmuch about the aen'fa, except that they bloat in water. I'm definitely looking forward to more about them!
I wonder if I've rather assumed on that front. Might look at editing in a bit more clarity around aen'fa, if so. For the record, think of them as sort-of-elvish.
Thanks, Winston! Getting enough world building into th story so that it makes sense, without it turning into reams of exposition, was quite the challenge.
At least Sally wasn't hit by a dead Aen'fa in this bloodbath of a tale!
Poor Callahan. I hope he'll find the redemption he seeks. I think the eager beaver will be good for him.
Wonder how long it'll take us in Ireland to consider 74°F - the historic high for 1972 London (I looked it up) to "unbearable," not "a nice day."
Correction note: when DS Collins enters in the second scene I think "Coke," as a brand name, should be capitalized.
Correction note: the use of "'tasche" as a contraction of "mustache," made me "hmmmm," as I've always used "'stache," but the OED has "tash" as the contraction of "mustache." Webster's has "stache," but, of course OED is British reference while Webster's is United States. Go figure! "Tasche" is German for a small handbag. The things you learn when you look things up!
I think you mean Clarke, not Callihan. But yes, hopefully Lola will help - although she'll probably grate on his patience at first. They need to stop partnering him up with all these young'uns.
Bear in mind that *this* 1972 London is slightly different due to the way power and technology has developed in the Triverse. It's still heavily steam powered, with local, individual engines rather than an efficient central electricity grid. The massive drive to 'keep up' with the other two dimensions led to an all-in mentality on the early industrial revolution technologies, at the expense of proper advances. The Kingdom has brute forced its way into maintaining influence and dominance. The Great Smog of 1952 is a persistent weather event here, essentially.
In my above comment I wondered how long it would take us after moving to Ireland to consider 74F/23C to be "unbearably hot."
For Laura, about two months. If it gets over 68F/20C she starts complaining it's way too hot. For me 74F/23C is quite warm, but it's once we pass 78F/25C I'm rather uncomfortable.
Seven months ago 59F/15C would have been "layer up" chilly, now it's T-shirt weather. My body is adjusting to this climate faster than my mind is getting comfortable working in metric.
Ok, back to your story instead of commenting on my own comments...instead of getting hung up on the proper contraction of "mustache," this time I'm hung up on the use of "porn tache." So... Lots of mustaches in the 1970's. Not just porn stars, but just general fashion. Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, Howard Hessman. I'm naming US actors cuz that's my pop culture background, but, in general, the 1970's and 80's considered a mustache (only) a perfectly acceptable and fashionable choice. It's really in the mid 90's that a mustache went out of style. I'm pretty sure "porn tache," as an adjective is a late 90's, or even early 2000's term. I think it's use here is anachronistic.
Or, fuck it, communication with Max-Earth brought the term into vouge decades early.
Either way, something about that damn descriptive jumped out at me on both readings.
Something that I only caught this time is Zoltan worrying about Nisha "taking care of herself," as he lights up a cig. Well played.
Fair point about the 'porn tash' reference, I think you're right there. However, I'm also going to use the excuse of Max-Earth cultural interference, I think.
Thanks for reading!
"Everyone kept telling her not to worry.
Lola was beginning to worry."
I get that; I know that feeling well. I like Lola's introduction here, and the way you described Clarke particularly; it's quite vivid. The grayness really works, I think.
I'm curious as to what an aen'fa actually is; I have an idea of what a koth looks like, but so far I don't know that I've seen overmuch about the aen'fa, except that they bloat in water. I'm definitely looking forward to more about them!
I wonder if I've rather assumed on that front. Might look at editing in a bit more clarity around aen'fa, if so. For the record, think of them as sort-of-elvish.
Very nice set up here. I’m liking these characters a lot so far. The world does seem to be a busy, breathing character of its own. Great job 👏
Thanks, Winston! Getting enough world building into th story so that it makes sense, without it turning into reams of exposition, was quite the challenge.
At least Sally wasn't hit by a dead Aen'fa in this bloodbath of a tale!
Poor Callahan. I hope he'll find the redemption he seeks. I think the eager beaver will be good for him.
Wonder how long it'll take us in Ireland to consider 74°F - the historic high for 1972 London (I looked it up) to "unbearable," not "a nice day."
Correction note: when DS Collins enters in the second scene I think "Coke," as a brand name, should be capitalized.
Correction note: the use of "'tasche" as a contraction of "mustache," made me "hmmmm," as I've always used "'stache," but the OED has "tash" as the contraction of "mustache." Webster's has "stache," but, of course OED is British reference while Webster's is United States. Go figure! "Tasche" is German for a small handbag. The things you learn when you look things up!
I think you mean Clarke, not Callihan. But yes, hopefully Lola will help - although she'll probably grate on his patience at first. They need to stop partnering him up with all these young'uns.
Bear in mind that *this* 1972 London is slightly different due to the way power and technology has developed in the Triverse. It's still heavily steam powered, with local, individual engines rather than an efficient central electricity grid. The massive drive to 'keep up' with the other two dimensions led to an all-in mentality on the early industrial revolution technologies, at the expense of proper advances. The Kingdom has brute forced its way into maintaining influence and dominance. The Great Smog of 1952 is a persistent weather event here, essentially.
Thanks for the notes - will tweak accordingly.
In my above comment I wondered how long it would take us after moving to Ireland to consider 74F/23C to be "unbearably hot."
For Laura, about two months. If it gets over 68F/20C she starts complaining it's way too hot. For me 74F/23C is quite warm, but it's once we pass 78F/25C I'm rather uncomfortable.
Seven months ago 59F/15C would have been "layer up" chilly, now it's T-shirt weather. My body is adjusting to this climate faster than my mind is getting comfortable working in metric.
Ok, back to your story instead of commenting on my own comments...instead of getting hung up on the proper contraction of "mustache," this time I'm hung up on the use of "porn tache." So... Lots of mustaches in the 1970's. Not just porn stars, but just general fashion. Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, Howard Hessman. I'm naming US actors cuz that's my pop culture background, but, in general, the 1970's and 80's considered a mustache (only) a perfectly acceptable and fashionable choice. It's really in the mid 90's that a mustache went out of style. I'm pretty sure "porn tache," as an adjective is a late 90's, or even early 2000's term. I think it's use here is anachronistic.
Or, fuck it, communication with Max-Earth brought the term into vouge decades early.
Either way, something about that damn descriptive jumped out at me on both readings.
Something that I only caught this time is Zoltan worrying about Nisha "taking care of herself," as he lights up a cig. Well played.
Fair point about the 'porn tash' reference, I think you're right there. However, I'm also going to use the excuse of Max-Earth cultural interference, I think.
Problem and solution, all in one post.
Obviously, Max-Earth sent Mid-Earth "Orange is the New Black!"
https://orange-is-the-new-black.fandom.com/wiki/George_Mendez