Some lovely descriptions of Lola's subjective sensations in her coma, and a little bit of backstory with her flashbacks. One might assume Lola parents eventually divorced...
While you say nothing happens in terms of forward plot momentum, this isn't quite true, as, of course, at the end we have the "...it's happening again..." while people pass out. So we now have a new narrative mystery to look forward to. WHAT is happening again?
This would have been a perfectly satisfying chapter with just Lola's flashbacks, waking up, and, of course, Daryla's loud and public "I love you, Lola Styles," but, yes, there is true narrative motion - even if just in a couple lines of set up. Don't sell yourself short. Set up and spin off are vital narrative techniques.
Some lovely descriptions of Lola's subjective sensations in her coma, and a little bit of backstory with her flashbacks. One might assume Lola parents eventually divorced...
While you say nothing happens in terms of forward plot momentum, this isn't quite true, as, of course, at the end we have the "...it's happening again..." while people pass out. So we now have a new narrative mystery to look forward to. WHAT is happening again?
This would have been a perfectly satisfying chapter with just Lola's flashbacks, waking up, and, of course, Daryla's loud and public "I love you, Lola Styles," but, yes, there is true narrative motion - even if just in a couple lines of set up. Don't sell yourself short. Set up and spin off are vital narrative techniques.