I did anticipate Callihan's death. You tipped your hand when Callahan told Yannick, "I'll go first, you're about to retire."
I'd ALMOST recommend changing Callahan's line to something more like, "Step back, old timer, I don't want you to break a hip," but you echo the retirement a third time in the penultimate paragraph and changing Callahan's line messes up the cadence of the callback.
But, again, at least Sally didn't get hit with a head. Yup, that's officially my running joke every time you dismember a character.
You did make me LIKE Callahan, so his death is unfortunate.
As is your gift there's efficient world building. We see some of the changes caused by the portals like your beloved steam punk airships and most people not having cars - if this story was set in California you'd have some very complex tweaking to do! London, of course, has been built, re-built and expanded for millenia, while So Cali is the only place in the world where city planning assumed most families had a car. The Tri-verse Los Angeles area would be amazingly different.
I assume a large part of the Portal Division's remit is to prevent unauthorized traversement. If in a shitty, smoggy 1972, I assume many would rather jump to the high tech future.
Yeah, I don't know whether I'll get to directly exploring the other side of the Atlantic. But let's just say that for Complicated Portal Reasons, the United States of America does not exist in this part of the triverse.
I'm glad Callihan was likeable - that was a big part of what had to be done in this chapter, not just so that the rug pull was impactful at the end but also so that ongoing threads in later chapters continue to resonate. I wanted it to be evident why some of his colleagues would continue to care about what happened even as the story moves on from this point.
Liking the sci-fi procedural vibe! I appreciated the way the prologue jumped around to show us each of the different 'verses (that reminded me a bit of the way the book Good Omens jumps around!), but it was good to have the focus solely here on Callihan and Clarke. All of these chapters read like a show! I'd love to see it get big and become a fully-fledged show! So glad I stumbled across your writing! :)
I found it either from you or someone else posting the prologue link in the Substack Writers Discord! That's how I've found most of my favorite Substack writers!
Ooh, yikes. I started reading in the middle of all this (the reference to Holland totally fits) and even so, that caught me by surprise. What a way to go.
You were probably wondering "hey, how come this Callihan guy isn't around in the later chapters??" :P
I'm glad the Holland reference in there works. Even though I'm writing and publishing this week-by-week as I go, I'm hoping I've done enough up-front homework that it all resonates. In theory a second read-through should be satisfying. Primarily, I don't want it to feel like I'm making it up as I go along.
I want a koth for a pet. I have a baby one in one of my stories:
The sculpture standing in front of the pair was a gargantuan beast with askew horns and a ridiculous grin framed by floppy ears. Once Jacky got in it would be terrifyingly happy with smoking red eyes and a sonorous snout.
Two quick notes not directly related to the narrative.
First, I learned this weekend Irish Emergency Services - 999 - forwards "911" calls to 999, mostly for the benefit of Americans. It's reasonable to assume the UK does as well.
Second, when attempting to read comments (or write one) Substack loads a new page. On this tablet, running Opera for Android that means I'm long-pressing the next chapter button to queue up the next bit so I can close this tab instead of backing up a page and re-scrolling to the Next Chapter button. Quirk of the interface.
Glad you didn't replace your original art with a Midjourney thing. Midjourney is great for generating semi random things, but it does fall apart with specificity. Have you tried to get into the Dall-E beta? I've not, but from what I've seen friends prompt it seems to have better control.
Yeah, I wont' be replacing all of my hand-drawn art. I'll most likely to continue to do a mix of AI, hand-drawn and stock going forward, depending on what's happening.
There's definitely a few quirks when it comes to reading sequential fiction (or non-fiction, I suppose) on Substack. I wouldn't be surprised to see them tweak and add features, as they seem to be iterating quite rapidly, and are definitely aware that there's a fiction community now.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
I did anticipate Callihan's death. You tipped your hand when Callahan told Yannick, "I'll go first, you're about to retire."
I'd ALMOST recommend changing Callahan's line to something more like, "Step back, old timer, I don't want you to break a hip," but you echo the retirement a third time in the penultimate paragraph and changing Callahan's line messes up the cadence of the callback.
But, again, at least Sally didn't get hit with a head. Yup, that's officially my running joke every time you dismember a character.
You did make me LIKE Callahan, so his death is unfortunate.
As is your gift there's efficient world building. We see some of the changes caused by the portals like your beloved steam punk airships and most people not having cars - if this story was set in California you'd have some very complex tweaking to do! London, of course, has been built, re-built and expanded for millenia, while So Cali is the only place in the world where city planning assumed most families had a car. The Tri-verse Los Angeles area would be amazingly different.
I assume a large part of the Portal Division's remit is to prevent unauthorized traversement. If in a shitty, smoggy 1972, I assume many would rather jump to the high tech future.
Yeah, I don't know whether I'll get to directly exploring the other side of the Atlantic. But let's just say that for Complicated Portal Reasons, the United States of America does not exist in this part of the triverse.
I'm glad Callihan was likeable - that was a big part of what had to be done in this chapter, not just so that the rug pull was impactful at the end but also so that ongoing threads in later chapters continue to resonate. I wanted it to be evident why some of his colleagues would continue to care about what happened even as the story moves on from this point.
No USA?
I take it back, your 1972 is a freaking Utopia! ;-)
Liking the sci-fi procedural vibe! I appreciated the way the prologue jumped around to show us each of the different 'verses (that reminded me a bit of the way the book Good Omens jumps around!), but it was good to have the focus solely here on Callihan and Clarke. All of these chapters read like a show! I'd love to see it get big and become a fully-fledged show! So glad I stumbled across your writing! :)
Thank you, Olivia! How did you stumble across my newsletter, if you don't mind me asking? Thanks for reading and I hope you continue enjoying. :)
I found it either from you or someone else posting the prologue link in the Substack Writers Discord! That's how I've found most of my favorite Substack writers!
Thanks for sharing your work here! :)
Well, thank you for taking a look. :) Hope you enjoy the new chapter on Friday.
Mouth agape again… I love this story! No one is safe!
Ha, thanks! Setting up that danger from the start was important. That’s two potential protagonists down. :P
Ooh, yikes. I started reading in the middle of all this (the reference to Holland totally fits) and even so, that caught me by surprise. What a way to go.
You were probably wondering "hey, how come this Callihan guy isn't around in the later chapters??" :P
I'm glad the Holland reference in there works. Even though I'm writing and publishing this week-by-week as I go, I'm hoping I've done enough up-front homework that it all resonates. In theory a second read-through should be satisfying. Primarily, I don't want it to feel like I'm making it up as I go along.
Thanks for reading, Michael, as always!
I want a koth for a pet. I have a baby one in one of my stories:
The sculpture standing in front of the pair was a gargantuan beast with askew horns and a ridiculous grin framed by floppy ears. Once Jacky got in it would be terrifyingly happy with smoking red eyes and a sonorous snout.
I should make a plushie.
You ought to. Then kids can hug it to sleep and forget about the Callihan event.
I would also be honoured if you would like to read my story on Jacky, the baby Koth.
Where can I find it?
It's a weird piece, but probably not for one who hops along the spacetime continuum like you.
https://kyantan.substack.com/p/frank-gunk-and-goo
Woah! You got me at the end. :)
Ha! Glad that rug pull worked. ;)
Two quick notes not directly related to the narrative.
First, I learned this weekend Irish Emergency Services - 999 - forwards "911" calls to 999, mostly for the benefit of Americans. It's reasonable to assume the UK does as well.
Second, when attempting to read comments (or write one) Substack loads a new page. On this tablet, running Opera for Android that means I'm long-pressing the next chapter button to queue up the next bit so I can close this tab instead of backing up a page and re-scrolling to the Next Chapter button. Quirk of the interface.
Glad you didn't replace your original art with a Midjourney thing. Midjourney is great for generating semi random things, but it does fall apart with specificity. Have you tried to get into the Dall-E beta? I've not, but from what I've seen friends prompt it seems to have better control.
Yeah, I wont' be replacing all of my hand-drawn art. I'll most likely to continue to do a mix of AI, hand-drawn and stock going forward, depending on what's happening.
There's definitely a few quirks when it comes to reading sequential fiction (or non-fiction, I suppose) on Substack. I wouldn't be surprised to see them tweak and add features, as they seem to be iterating quite rapidly, and are definitely aware that there's a fiction community now.