Ok let's start with a copy/paste from WhatsApp earlier...
"...damn nice job with the breakfast scene. Some nice character bits with Bakker, and effective twisting of his morning comfort ritual into nightmare foreshadowing.
At least you were nice enough to have the coffee come out perfect. Some authors would have taken even that away from Bakker."
Moving on.
Because you love Babylon 5, and JMS's writing, you'll appreciate the comparison to how Londo and G'Kar flip multiple times through the narrative... (There are a couple others I know on other social platforms also watching B5 for the first time, but at a much faster pace than 1 episode a week. A good comment "Me at the beginning of season one: I'm going to call this character [Londo] Napoleon Quark, he's a funny little guy who probably does shenanigans... Me in the middle of season two: Napoleon Quark has sanctioned another war crime." Also "If you would've told me this man [G'Kar] would be throwing a tantrum in the hallway and I would still want to hug him about it, I would not have believed you in the first season." Yes, they are watching "The Coming of Shadows.")
Because this chapter is the first time I dreaded Robin getting any hints of information, and the first time I was really rooting for Holland. In the past I was always happy to see Robin, and less than thrilled to see that drunken, whoring asshole, Holland.
Your flips are working.
Holland and Clarke BOTH got lucky. Holland for surviving, Clarke for not getting framed.
I guess next week we'll find out how the shit hit the fan with Zoltan and Nisha...
...And Lola - she's isolated from the rest of SDC, so she's actually the most vulnerable right now.
Glad you caught that Lola's now in a very tenuous position. We'll find out more about that next week, I think.
Pleased the scene with Bakker played out well for you. The boiling water and toaster was a variant on the classic 'boiling kettle' trope, but I think it works here. For someone as regimented and controlled as Bakker, someone who almost prides himself on being a little bit dull, seeing that morning routine come undone is painful. Something big and dramatic he could handle, but those pieces of his breakfast plan going awry? For someone like him, that's catastrophic.
The little things like breakfast - outside events, as a cop, he knows can spin away. Breakfast he can control.
Lola... Well, we may find out exactly how good a friend Daryla is, once and for all.
Failing that, there's the guard - who's name I don't remember, who I'm not at the moment going back to "Rubbish" to look up - Lola had a fling with. Hopefully that bridge isn't burned. That's two potential allies, one powerful, one well placed.
Unfortunately, while the guard Captain likes Lola, I think he'll follow orders, not realizing there's even a problem.
Simon, this is the first time I listened to you all the way through on one of your stories. I'm usually a reader, love to read at my own pace...but you are enjoyable to listen to.
I liked that very much =)
Now I have to start from the beginning of your world. I am NOT te reader who goes to the end of a story for spoilers...hehe
Ok let's start with a copy/paste from WhatsApp earlier...
"...damn nice job with the breakfast scene. Some nice character bits with Bakker, and effective twisting of his morning comfort ritual into nightmare foreshadowing.
At least you were nice enough to have the coffee come out perfect. Some authors would have taken even that away from Bakker."
Moving on.
Because you love Babylon 5, and JMS's writing, you'll appreciate the comparison to how Londo and G'Kar flip multiple times through the narrative... (There are a couple others I know on other social platforms also watching B5 for the first time, but at a much faster pace than 1 episode a week. A good comment "Me at the beginning of season one: I'm going to call this character [Londo] Napoleon Quark, he's a funny little guy who probably does shenanigans... Me in the middle of season two: Napoleon Quark has sanctioned another war crime." Also "If you would've told me this man [G'Kar] would be throwing a tantrum in the hallway and I would still want to hug him about it, I would not have believed you in the first season." Yes, they are watching "The Coming of Shadows.")
Because this chapter is the first time I dreaded Robin getting any hints of information, and the first time I was really rooting for Holland. In the past I was always happy to see Robin, and less than thrilled to see that drunken, whoring asshole, Holland.
Your flips are working.
Holland and Clarke BOTH got lucky. Holland for surviving, Clarke for not getting framed.
I guess next week we'll find out how the shit hit the fan with Zoltan and Nisha...
...And Lola - she's isolated from the rest of SDC, so she's actually the most vulnerable right now.
Exciting stuff, Simon. I'm invested.
The fan has not yet begun to spin.
Glad you caught that Lola's now in a very tenuous position. We'll find out more about that next week, I think.
Pleased the scene with Bakker played out well for you. The boiling water and toaster was a variant on the classic 'boiling kettle' trope, but I think it works here. For someone as regimented and controlled as Bakker, someone who almost prides himself on being a little bit dull, seeing that morning routine come undone is painful. Something big and dramatic he could handle, but those pieces of his breakfast plan going awry? For someone like him, that's catastrophic.
Yeah, twas a good twist on the kettle.
The little things like breakfast - outside events, as a cop, he knows can spin away. Breakfast he can control.
Lola... Well, we may find out exactly how good a friend Daryla is, once and for all.
Failing that, there's the guard - who's name I don't remember, who I'm not at the moment going back to "Rubbish" to look up - Lola had a fling with. Hopefully that bridge isn't burned. That's two potential allies, one powerful, one well placed.
Unfortunately, while the guard Captain likes Lola, I think he'll follow orders, not realizing there's even a problem.
Simon, this is the first time I listened to you all the way through on one of your stories. I'm usually a reader, love to read at my own pace...but you are enjoyable to listen to.
I liked that very much =)
Now I have to start from the beginning of your world. I am NOT te reader who goes to the end of a story for spoilers...hehe
I'm very much a beginner at reading my own fiction! It's fun to do, though, and is also a REALLY good way to catch typos.
Unfortunately I've not had time to record audio for all of the earlier chapters, but I'm chipping away at it.
Enjoy the ebook when you get to it!
Yeah, I try to read my chapters out loud,...because that's how I catch the 'whoops' moments, lol.
I'm so glad I'm here in your community, Simon. Truly excited.
Honestly, I've not been into this genre of fiction,...and you're converting me. So,...gosh, well done, you.
Ya got talent, my friend. Keep practicing, cause I'm enjoying this.
...as for the ePub, thanks again for getting that to me. Now I'm trying to find my new Nook.
I moved, and I know it's here SOMEWHERE.