Thank you so much for the mention Simon. It means a lot to hear my experience resonates with other writers and lockdown debutants. Also, thanks for an enjoyable read from the traverse tales! Look forward to the next instalment :)
I have to say, I've been on the edge of my seat for these past chapters, reading them as soon as they pinged into my inbox. Well done! And very satisfactorily I anticipated Justin's little deus ex machina moment! Really, who else could've helped them at this point? I do hope they will get a somewhat happy ending, despite the realism of the story (which I also love).
Thanks, Vanessa! That's exciting to hear. :) One of the best things about writing and publishing like this is getting a sense of how people are responding to the story as it emerges. I'm so pleased to hear that you've been on the edge of your seat. :)
Who else but Justin could be the cavalry? Hope he didn't have to hurt Golding much. Man has some integrity.
Let's talk about that little scene where Kaminski hits bottom - for the first and only time in this story the narrator voice references the future of the timeline - "...would layer regret..." You've told us right there he gets to a place and time where he can look back and rue, likely meaning rescue, and, who else could the cavalry be? Especially as Clarke is holding a VERY IMPORTANT MCGUFFIN at moment?
So... A narrative voice trick that, honestly, I can't remember you ever using before. Were you just trying something new, deliberately foreshadowing, dodging being too deeply in Kaminski's head at that moment (even subconsciously, which, of course, you wouldn't know unless this paragraph induces self-reflection), "Just how the words came out?," or "Beats me?"
You needed something to use as a trip or slip, and, hey, that puddle of vomit was RIGHT there!
Hope you don't have enough George R. R. Martin influencing you to have Holland die of shock, blood loss, or internal injury. It would be cruel for him to survive an assassination attempt, only to immediately be killed by, well, the second assassin.
Although it reminds me of that craptacular, deeply-problematic-but-still a-masterpiece of a B-movie from the 1980's, "Troma's War." Film begins with a plane crash. One passenger is the wounded guy with multiple broken limbs who is delirious that the heroes are looking after. About halfway through the film he is randomly bitten by a snake and dies in slow-motion, all so that the New York Jewish Grandmother Archetype can say, "So, what, for THIS he survived the plane crash?"
(Note this movie also has a blind girl charge into battle, blasting enemies with a shotgun while screaming, "I can HEAR YOU, you bastards!" Troma is not subtle.)
Ok... I've digressed into Troma movies! Between Scott's health problems and four time a day medications we're fostering two kittens whose mother passed away and they get bottle fed 5/6 times a day. I'm pretty tired!
Thank you so much for the mention Simon. It means a lot to hear my experience resonates with other writers and lockdown debutants. Also, thanks for an enjoyable read from the traverse tales! Look forward to the next instalment :)
I have to say, I've been on the edge of my seat for these past chapters, reading them as soon as they pinged into my inbox. Well done! And very satisfactorily I anticipated Justin's little deus ex machina moment! Really, who else could've helped them at this point? I do hope they will get a somewhat happy ending, despite the realism of the story (which I also love).
Thanks, Vanessa! That's exciting to hear. :) One of the best things about writing and publishing like this is getting a sense of how people are responding to the story as it emerges. I'm so pleased to hear that you've been on the edge of your seat. :)
Christ, two articles from me mentioned in the same piece. I'm very flattered, Simon - thank you!
Ha, due to putting the notes for this chapter together gradually over the course of the week I hadn't quite realised that they were both from you. :)
It's primarily your fault for writing too much good stuff, so you've only got yourself to blame.
I think the important words here are "writing too much." I need to slow down. Ha!
Who else but Justin could be the cavalry? Hope he didn't have to hurt Golding much. Man has some integrity.
Let's talk about that little scene where Kaminski hits bottom - for the first and only time in this story the narrator voice references the future of the timeline - "...would layer regret..." You've told us right there he gets to a place and time where he can look back and rue, likely meaning rescue, and, who else could the cavalry be? Especially as Clarke is holding a VERY IMPORTANT MCGUFFIN at moment?
So... A narrative voice trick that, honestly, I can't remember you ever using before. Were you just trying something new, deliberately foreshadowing, dodging being too deeply in Kaminski's head at that moment (even subconsciously, which, of course, you wouldn't know unless this paragraph induces self-reflection), "Just how the words came out?," or "Beats me?"
You needed something to use as a trip or slip, and, hey, that puddle of vomit was RIGHT there!
Hope you don't have enough George R. R. Martin influencing you to have Holland die of shock, blood loss, or internal injury. It would be cruel for him to survive an assassination attempt, only to immediately be killed by, well, the second assassin.
Although it reminds me of that craptacular, deeply-problematic-but-still a-masterpiece of a B-movie from the 1980's, "Troma's War." Film begins with a plane crash. One passenger is the wounded guy with multiple broken limbs who is delirious that the heroes are looking after. About halfway through the film he is randomly bitten by a snake and dies in slow-motion, all so that the New York Jewish Grandmother Archetype can say, "So, what, for THIS he survived the plane crash?"
(Note this movie also has a blind girl charge into battle, blasting enemies with a shotgun while screaming, "I can HEAR YOU, you bastards!" Troma is not subtle.)
Ok... I've digressed into Troma movies! Between Scott's health problems and four time a day medications we're fostering two kittens whose mother passed away and they get bottle fed 5/6 times a day. I'm pretty tired!