Where this chapter of "Two men sitting in an office having a budget meeting," works is that it's coming in about 70 chapters into the book (including bonus chapters). As you've noted, we've seen Graves and Walpole in-passing before, but this is the first chapter we've spent with them.
Ah, but you've seeded in a plotline about there being some sort of mole/informant at SDC! Suddenly this chat between two people farther up the ladder than we've spent time with before has an undercurrent of tension! There's at least one traitor floating around and we've seen enough of the "rank-and-file" SDC crew to be reasonably certain it's not them. (Hobb would have been my guess, but Hobb is leaving...Unless the transfer is payment for services rendered?). Perhaps Graves or Walpole aren't what they seem?
OK, Graves is the viewpoint character, but that isn't clear until the third-to-last paragraph. Usually it's a lot easier to determine who's "head" we're in... And I've just re-read this chapter after responding to your response to my comment on the diary (and writing an Amazon review for some book you might be familiar with), and this time I was LOOKING for the "tell" on viewpoint. I assume it was a deliberate choice to keep the viewpoint ambiguous until near the end of the chapter? If it was a happy accident, it worked - it's not something I'm suggesting you clarify. Because that ambiguity helps drive the subtextural tension laid in from the simmering "traitor" plot.
So, yeah, it's an infodump chapter, but sometimes infodump needs to happen. It's all about not making it feel like infodump, and, yet again, the traitor on the back burner helps. We get a little more background on SDC, a bit of discussion from the "upper-level" guys about how money means oversight. Our "upper-level" guys just got deomoted a step without doing anything.
And, now I'm pretty sure that Graves isn't the traitor. SDC is his baby. Walpole? Could be, could be.
Then there's this wonderful moment of levity “Really? Grumpy and angry, together at last? You sure that’s wise?” Yes, I read that line right after thinking, "Clarke and Holland? Oh, shit...."
Where this chapter of "Two men sitting in an office having a budget meeting," works is that it's coming in about 70 chapters into the book (including bonus chapters). As you've noted, we've seen Graves and Walpole in-passing before, but this is the first chapter we've spent with them.
Ah, but you've seeded in a plotline about there being some sort of mole/informant at SDC! Suddenly this chat between two people farther up the ladder than we've spent time with before has an undercurrent of tension! There's at least one traitor floating around and we've seen enough of the "rank-and-file" SDC crew to be reasonably certain it's not them. (Hobb would have been my guess, but Hobb is leaving...Unless the transfer is payment for services rendered?). Perhaps Graves or Walpole aren't what they seem?
OK, Graves is the viewpoint character, but that isn't clear until the third-to-last paragraph. Usually it's a lot easier to determine who's "head" we're in... And I've just re-read this chapter after responding to your response to my comment on the diary (and writing an Amazon review for some book you might be familiar with), and this time I was LOOKING for the "tell" on viewpoint. I assume it was a deliberate choice to keep the viewpoint ambiguous until near the end of the chapter? If it was a happy accident, it worked - it's not something I'm suggesting you clarify. Because that ambiguity helps drive the subtextural tension laid in from the simmering "traitor" plot.
So, yeah, it's an infodump chapter, but sometimes infodump needs to happen. It's all about not making it feel like infodump, and, yet again, the traitor on the back burner helps. We get a little more background on SDC, a bit of discussion from the "upper-level" guys about how money means oversight. Our "upper-level" guys just got deomoted a step without doing anything.
And, now I'm pretty sure that Graves isn't the traitor. SDC is his baby. Walpole? Could be, could be.
Then there's this wonderful moment of levity “Really? Grumpy and angry, together at last? You sure that’s wise?” Yes, I read that line right after thinking, "Clarke and Holland? Oh, shit...."