Where this chapter of "Two men sitting in an office having a budget meeting," works is that it's coming in about 70 chapters into the book (including bonus chapters). As you've noted, we've seen Graves and Walpole in-passing before, but this is the first chapter we've spent with them.
Ah, but you've seeded in a plotline about there being some sort of mole/informant at SDC! Suddenly this chat between two people farther up the ladder than we've spent time with before has an undercurrent of tension! There's at least one traitor floating around and we've seen enough of the "rank-and-file" SDC crew to be reasonably certain it's not them. (Hobb would have been my guess, but Hobb is leaving...Unless the transfer is payment for services rendered?). Perhaps Graves or Walpole aren't what they seem?
OK, Graves is the viewpoint character, but that isn't clear until the third-to-last paragraph. Usually it's a lot easier to determine who's "head" we're in... And I've just re-read this chapter after responding to your response to my comment on the diary (and writing an Amazon review for some book you might be familiar with), and this time I was LOOKING for the "tell" on viewpoint. I assume it was a deliberate choice to keep the viewpoint ambiguous until near the end of the chapter? If it was a happy accident, it worked - it's not something I'm suggesting you clarify. Because that ambiguity helps drive the subtextural tension laid in from the simmering "traitor" plot.
So, yeah, it's an infodump chapter, but sometimes infodump needs to happen. It's all about not making it feel like infodump, and, yet again, the traitor on the back burner helps. We get a little more background on SDC, a bit of discussion from the "upper-level" guys about how money means oversight. Our "upper-level" guys just got deomoted a step without doing anything.
And, now I'm pretty sure that Graves isn't the traitor. SDC is his baby. Walpole? Could be, could be.
Then there's this wonderful moment of levity “Really? Grumpy and angry, together at last? You sure that’s wise?” Yes, I read that line right after thinking, "Clarke and Holland? Oh, shit...."
Glad that undercurrent of tension came through! This chapter was all about the slight contradiction of seemingly winning but knowing that it's probably not going to be a good thing. There's also the fact that Bakker & the gang haven't shared their findings with Graves or Walpole yet - which puts both of them at greater risk (or one of them, if either are dodgy). At least with this chapter and conversation we can probably assume that they're not BOTH dodgy, at least.
(thanks for the Amazon review! Doesn't seem to have appeared yet, but they probably have bit of a delay?)
Yeah, Amazon reviews probably have a delay to make sure I didn't just write a bunch of profanity and links to bitcoin miners. Oddly, on Amazon UK there is no link in my profile to see my own reviews, but there's a link to review my purchases, and "NAA" isn't on there. Moderation. On Amazon US there's a button to take me to my own reviews.
Oh, hey, carriage returns are working on mobile again! I've missed you, paragraph formatting!
Back to Triverse - certainly Graves isn't a baddie. Walpole could be putting Clarke and Holland together precisely with the hope they'll self destruct as a unit, and Graves isn't sure about DS Collins or Shaw. There's nothing in the chapter that indicates Walpole is a baddie, but, you wouldn't just give that away so easily. At this point Walpole IS the best candidate - not in the SDC office every day, highly placed enough to have influence on running the place (like putting "Grumpy and Angry" together), or influence things like maintenence contracting (someone planted bugs), but low enough to fly under the notice of Graves' superiors.
Right or wrong, you shall stroke your goatee and nod sagely at my guess. I shall eventually see how the plot develops.
Then, in Arc 5, Aera shows up and links all your books into a meta-narrative. Ok that's wrong, of course.
I for one think it's hilarious that the police commissioner is named Graves. At least he's not in charge of the morgue, amirite?
I don't know: until very recently I would've thought Clarke and Holland would totally self-destruct and they still might, but Clarke isn't quite the same as he was thanks to John and Lola, is he? This'll be fun to see.
I hope Logan was fired in the months we skipped over, or at least transferred. Hopefully no one took advantage of his actions with the scans and all. I get the sense we haven't heard the last of that either.
Where this chapter of "Two men sitting in an office having a budget meeting," works is that it's coming in about 70 chapters into the book (including bonus chapters). As you've noted, we've seen Graves and Walpole in-passing before, but this is the first chapter we've spent with them.
Ah, but you've seeded in a plotline about there being some sort of mole/informant at SDC! Suddenly this chat between two people farther up the ladder than we've spent time with before has an undercurrent of tension! There's at least one traitor floating around and we've seen enough of the "rank-and-file" SDC crew to be reasonably certain it's not them. (Hobb would have been my guess, but Hobb is leaving...Unless the transfer is payment for services rendered?). Perhaps Graves or Walpole aren't what they seem?
OK, Graves is the viewpoint character, but that isn't clear until the third-to-last paragraph. Usually it's a lot easier to determine who's "head" we're in... And I've just re-read this chapter after responding to your response to my comment on the diary (and writing an Amazon review for some book you might be familiar with), and this time I was LOOKING for the "tell" on viewpoint. I assume it was a deliberate choice to keep the viewpoint ambiguous until near the end of the chapter? If it was a happy accident, it worked - it's not something I'm suggesting you clarify. Because that ambiguity helps drive the subtextural tension laid in from the simmering "traitor" plot.
So, yeah, it's an infodump chapter, but sometimes infodump needs to happen. It's all about not making it feel like infodump, and, yet again, the traitor on the back burner helps. We get a little more background on SDC, a bit of discussion from the "upper-level" guys about how money means oversight. Our "upper-level" guys just got deomoted a step without doing anything.
And, now I'm pretty sure that Graves isn't the traitor. SDC is his baby. Walpole? Could be, could be.
Then there's this wonderful moment of levity “Really? Grumpy and angry, together at last? You sure that’s wise?” Yes, I read that line right after thinking, "Clarke and Holland? Oh, shit...."
Glad that undercurrent of tension came through! This chapter was all about the slight contradiction of seemingly winning but knowing that it's probably not going to be a good thing. There's also the fact that Bakker & the gang haven't shared their findings with Graves or Walpole yet - which puts both of them at greater risk (or one of them, if either are dodgy). At least with this chapter and conversation we can probably assume that they're not BOTH dodgy, at least.
(thanks for the Amazon review! Doesn't seem to have appeared yet, but they probably have bit of a delay?)
Yeah, Amazon reviews probably have a delay to make sure I didn't just write a bunch of profanity and links to bitcoin miners. Oddly, on Amazon UK there is no link in my profile to see my own reviews, but there's a link to review my purchases, and "NAA" isn't on there. Moderation. On Amazon US there's a button to take me to my own reviews.
Oh, hey, carriage returns are working on mobile again! I've missed you, paragraph formatting!
Back to Triverse - certainly Graves isn't a baddie. Walpole could be putting Clarke and Holland together precisely with the hope they'll self destruct as a unit, and Graves isn't sure about DS Collins or Shaw. There's nothing in the chapter that indicates Walpole is a baddie, but, you wouldn't just give that away so easily. At this point Walpole IS the best candidate - not in the SDC office every day, highly placed enough to have influence on running the place (like putting "Grumpy and Angry" together), or influence things like maintenence contracting (someone planted bugs), but low enough to fly under the notice of Graves' superiors.
Right or wrong, you shall stroke your goatee and nod sagely at my guess. I shall eventually see how the plot develops.
Then, in Arc 5, Aera shows up and links all your books into a meta-narrative. Ok that's wrong, of course.
It'll be Sally. Carrying an arm.
I really need to get round to writing a one-shot about what Sally did next.
But... Then I won't be able to get cheap humor, and the occasional wry grin from callbacks! 😉
I for one think it's hilarious that the police commissioner is named Graves. At least he's not in charge of the morgue, amirite?
I don't know: until very recently I would've thought Clarke and Holland would totally self-destruct and they still might, but Clarke isn't quite the same as he was thanks to John and Lola, is he? This'll be fun to see.
I hope Logan was fired in the months we skipped over, or at least transferred. Hopefully no one took advantage of his actions with the scans and all. I get the sense we haven't heard the last of that either.