Writing an action scene
Biff, kapow, smash
Action scenes are strange beasts. A good action sequence has an element of deliberate design to it which raises it above simple punchy-bang-bang into something more meaningful. As with most things, it is all about character and ensuring that character is infused throughout the action. Whether it’s in a movie, a boook or a comic, that’s what makes an action sequence successful beyond being simple fun and spectacle.
If you want to hear experts talk intelligently about action design, I can’t recommend the Corridor Crew breakdowns highly enough - especially the ones featuring Chris Cowan, such as this:
In the context of prose fiction a lot of the same principles apply. An action sequence without purpose and without being anchored to character motivation might be able to be ‘cool’, but it’ll never be truly exciting because the reader won’t care about what is happening. Action in prose has to bear this in mind even more than cinema, because a book cannot rely on visual extravagance to hide the cracks.
When I’m working on an action sequence in one of my books I always plan out the core beats ahead of time. What exactly is happening, how is one event leading into the next, and how are the characters weaving in and out and influencing the motion? As a child of the 80s I’ve always loved classic Spielbergian action, whereby it’s closer to a choreographed dance, with a rhythm and flow to every moment. If I make it up as I’m writing, the action doesn’t come together in as satisfying a way as I’d like, and can feel a bit dry to read: a sequence of things happening one after another.
Planning out those core beats in advance helps to work out the pacing, and also ensures that each moment is attached to a character in some way. Moments become characterful and intentional. In this regard it’s no different to writing a dialogue scene, or internal monologue. I aim to have every paragraph - ideally every sentence - in my writing reveal something about a character, and action is no exception.
A couple of weeks ago I had a big action sequence in Tales from the Triverse, so let’s break that one down:
The first decision to make here, given that Triverse is a limited third person narrative, was about from whose perspective we’d be seeing the action. The obvious choice was one of the protagonists: perhaps one of the professional monster hunters, or one of the lead detectives. Instead, I created a brand new character, a guy called Henry who just so happened to be visiting the museum when the creature attacked. The benefit of this choice was that the entire action sequence could be written from his startled and terrified perspective, shifting the reader away from “cool monster hunters fighting a monster” and into “oh god, this is scary”. Giving Henry a couple of young kids to worry about was a cheap way to ratchet up the tension, but it works.
To work out the specific beats of the action I sketched out the scene in advance. Here are my notes:
Cold open. The museum. A family having a look around.
Then noises, and the creature smashes up into the exhibit.
Starts trashing the place and attacking people.
Family tries to run, to hide, to escape.
Terrifying.
Just as they’re about to be killed, the Six Blades arrive.
Ngarkh intercepts and grabs the kengto.
Erik gets the family to safety. Ngarkh can’t hold the creature, which breaks free.
Halbad, Seline and Ngarkh keep it busy while Ellenbrin tries to tie it down with crossbow ropes.
Halbad gets in a good hit and injures it. It scampers up and along the walls, to upper floors. Ngarkh pursues, flying.
They all get outside, in time to see Ngarkh and the kengto fall from the roof to the courtyard. Ngarkh is knocked out by the fall.
Clarke, Styles and uniformed cops are trying to evacuate the building.
Seline gets on top of the kengto, gets a pike in its leg but it throws her off at the last moment and rips itself loose.
Halbad is protecting Seline and Ngarkh, so the kengto goes for Ellenbrin instead. She stands her ground, gets an arrow in its eye, then another into its mouth. Has poison on it from Erik. Doesn’t take it down. Lola tackles Ellenbrin out the way just in time.
The creature escapes back up to the roof, where it writhes about and develops before their eyes, ripping out of its old skin. Wings spread and it awkwardly takes off, gliding away from rooftop to rooftop.
It’s developing faster than expected. Needs to be stopped quickly. And they need to bring in everyone, and the army, just in case the Six Blades can’t pull it off.
The core beats in the outline focus entirely on the Six Blades, the monster hunters. I wanted to make sure that each of them had an important part to play in the fight, each getting a little ‘hero’ moment, without any of them being able to actually bring down the creature. There’s an ebb and flow to the fight, with one character stepping up, then needing to be helped by another. It emphasises the team element, that these people have to fight together to survive.
There are moments such as Halbad protecting Seline and Ngarkh, or Lola saving Ellenbrin, not only so that the stakes are high but also to emphasise those character motivations. Halbad is a tough sonofabitch, but he’ll do anything to protect his crew. Lola is an ordinary London cop with no experience of dealing with this kind of situation, but doesn’t hesitate to dive in to save Ellenbrin, further establishing the growing bond (and distinct crush) between the two of them.
In the notes I only mention briefly that it’s from the POV of a family visiting the museum. The fun aspect for me as a writer was taking these beats, which are being driven entirely by the monster hunter characters, and then inserting Henry into that chaos. The action is choreographed and designed, but seen from his perspective it becomes more intense and frightening, because he has no agency. As a helpless participant he provides an ‘in’ for the reader; a highly empathetic character that most of us can identify with more easily than a professional, sword-wielding monster hunter.
This is just one example and there are countless ways to skin this particular cat. I’d love to know more about how you write action. Do let me know down in the comments!
If you’re interested in Tales from the Triverse you can read from the start here:
A really excellent way to get started with Triverse is to grab the ebook which collects the first season of stories. It’s currently part of the Portal to Fantasy Spring Book Fair, along with a ton of other freebies. Do go check it out!
Thanks, as ever, for reading.
Lots to take on board here