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Mike Miller's avatar

aen'fa creation myth was NOT on my Triverse Bingo Card.

Yeah, I said "myth." Just because your Gods happen to be real doesn't mean they didn't brag themselves up a bit - or a lot. It was either Douglas Adams, or Terry Pratchett who once wrote (paraphrased) "The Gods came into existence in the first millisecond after the creation of the Universe, and not, as they usually claimed, the week before."

Now - before you cut to the scene with Lola, Daryla, and Slava, I really sat up when the narrative dropped a "we" into, what beforehand, had seemed third-party narration. As a Bonus Chapter, I thought you had decided to really break your own format and do an entire chapter in first-person, and had quite cleverly eased into that*.

As it is...um... Well, damn, learning the aen'fa have resentment of humans baked into their religion is a pretty significant cultural detail. It recontextualizes prior storylines. How GALLING it must have been for aen'fa refugees to flee the oppressors who leached away their power to a universe where these same human dominate - without magic! How desperate they really must have been to move to this new world. How humiliating it had to be to, yet again, be treated as second-class. You just set up the "War of the aen'fa" you're never going to write. Nice work!

*At least the switch back to third person was apparent. Last week I read a Jack McDevitt novella where a third party narrative suddenly dropped a "we" in the the middle of a description, making the entire thing first-person. Except the narrator never got a name, a line, a character referring to them, a scene where the narrator performed an action, had a life or seemed to actually exist, and I spent the rest of the story wondering who the narrator was until I finally came to the conclusion the "we" had to be an error that slipped past proofreading. Point being, it was DISTRACTING.

Your "we" was INTRIGUING, and, of course, resolved as the voice of the author of the book Lola was reading.

Michael S. Atkinson's avatar

I also have questions re: the pig.

Now I want to hear the koth version of events. Bet that's fun.

So aen'fa are responsible for the season names on Palinor? Fascinating. Also, I wonder if the sword of Palin is going to show up later in this series. Chekov's Blade, if you will.

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